But maybe it's the subject of the last nonfiction assignment that I chose to write about that is making me feel this way. I chose to write on abuse, I know abuse all too well. I've been abused by my dad, and watched my mom be abused and take it. I grew up in a home that what the man said went, period. I chose husbands that were of the same mentality. Not that I purposely chose them for that sick mentality, but I was use to it, I didn't think it was wrong. I mean the Bible says to the wife, submit to the husband, it was the only thing I knew, even if I didn't like it. I don't think that is what the Bible, or God is saying now of course, not to allow the husband to abuse the wife or the children. Funny though, my dad and I still disagree, he thinks I am living a life of sin because not only am I divorced, I divorced my husbands, one was bad but doing it two times, just sinful. I thought this assignment would be so easy. I probably should have chosen a different subject, maybe that would have been a little less troublesome to my heart. Remembering can sometimes be painful and it can even make me feel shameful. Even though I didn't do anything to be ashamed of. I saved myself and my children from being abused, well after I took it for too many years. Maybe that's my guilt, I stayed in too long.
http://www.safehorizon.org/page/10-signs-of-child-abuse-58.html
Teresa,
ReplyDeletePlease keep sharing. I struggled with a touch of agoraphobia myself for some time. I can also relate to your anxieties about writing about divorce and abuse. It will get easier and it will get better. I can really associate with many of the things you've described. The more you let it out, whether you share it with the world or not, you're releasing it so you don't have to live with it anymore.
Thank you for being brave enough to share you work.
Angela
Hi Angela, I didn't see this until today, sorry I would have gotten back to you sooner. Thanks for your encouragement, I really appreciate it. I agree, the more it's talked about and gotten out the healing begins. At first I was terrified to tell anyone about my agoraphobia, I thought that they'd think I belonged in a psych ward. But I found a program to do at home, it was expensive but it was very worth every cent. So many people suffer from anxiety, which can cause panic attacks which can lead to agoraphobia. I thank God that I'm not agoraphobic any more. I still do have anxiety, I don't really have panic any more because I've learned through the program to stop it before it starts. I hope you never suffer another moment in your life with any more anxiety, agoraphobic, etc. :)
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